I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
