how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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