I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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