the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
