She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
