you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
