She is in my trunk
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
