I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
