The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
