That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
