what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
