didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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