I am puke
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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