I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
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