goodnight i made you a song goodbye
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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