Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
