I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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