I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You smell like stripper and shame
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
