so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
