is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
