Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
