Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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