3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
