Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
