i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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