he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
