Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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