ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
