Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
