Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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