I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
