He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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