did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
