i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
