i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
