Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize