Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
