He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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