you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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