my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
