my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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