I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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