Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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