singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wish my penis had a tongue
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
