When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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