grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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