glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
