I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
