is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
