I'm lost and stupid without you.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
