absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want to walk on stilts...naked
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
