i permit you to call me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You need a sexual gate keeper
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
