Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
