girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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