I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
